Oh The Stories We Could Tell….

2018-05-05_12-09-20_866Oh the stories I could tell…we are all born into this mysterious world not knowing from where we have come or where we will go. Born into riches, born into poverty, born into perfect bodies, born broken or torn, born into sound minds, born into confused darkness, born into love, born into chaos. None of us choose our position, none of us can take credit, or blame, for our beginnings.

From this beginning we learn to become a player in an ever changing, stochastic game of life. Those born with certain attributes (i.e. riches, perfect bodies, sound minds, loving environments, etc.) have a higher likelihood of remaining in their assigned realm of the game, it generally takes an extreme act to move one on the spectrum to the next realm, just as those born at the other end of the spectrum (i.e. poverty, broken, body, confused darkness, chaos, etc.) generally remain in their realm with low likelihood of moving on the spectrum.

As the game is played many players move up and down the spectrum in small increments while a few make extreme leaps across the spectrum. What are the catalysts that increase our rate of change and how much can we claim is our own creation? Wealth/economic condition? Health/physical and mental? Environment/familial and geographical?

I know I am just another game piece on the board but I often get caught up in believing I am in control of the game. This delusion also, intentionally or not, leads me to believe that those around me are also in control of their position in the game.

We are often told or led to believe that we are in control and as a result we feel pride and/or shame at our circumstances. We also judge others based on their circumstances. And, although I so want to believe that we have some agency in this game, in my heart and mind I know that randomness has more agency than we. Most of us are aware that we could lose everything with one fatal or near-fatal accident or one major crisis, however we often ignore that reality in order to go on living in this game.

So, we continue to play the game, we continue to play at control, and we continue to move on the spectrum as the game throws the dice and our resilience is tested. A single throw of the dice can change your economic position, your health situation, your familial or geographic location. And then we all sit back and watch as the pieces move or fall and most of us sit back and judge as if we are controlling the game.

What do we really control? To some degree, with a sound mind, we may control our responses to these changes, but I am hard pressed to imagine that we truly control much more.

And so…we must be kind, we must be generous, and we must let go of believing that we are the architects and directors of the game, or that others are the architects and directors of theirs.

What does this mean for  you or me? Only we can answer this for ourselves or maybe even that is left up to the game…

Ramblings from a broken body who has just experienced an undesired shift on the spectrum. My heart aches for those of you who have been born into an unfair game or have experienced an extreme shift that has moved your place on the spectrum to one that you no longer recognize or desire.

Love and Light,

Shannon

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Tighten Your Seatbelt, the Door is Open and the Journey has Taken a Twist!

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Well, here I sit officially retired. Truly hard to believe. Those first few moments driving home left me somewhere between elated and with a strong desire to puke. Elation has temporarily won out but the urge to puke does well-up occasionally. Plans have not gone exactly as planned as our River Home is still on the market and so Greg continues to work until the home sells and he can join me on Krammes Mountain. In the meantime, I am slowly moving our life out to the farm and staying busy weeding, planting, painting, cleaning, packing, unpacking, and playing house with Greg on the weekends. So much opportunity and beauty here, looking forward to sharing it with family and friends. Once we finalize the sale/closing of our River Home we will get things in order on Krammes Mountain and find time to start having visitors and visiting others. So, I thought I would share a few pictures that I’ve taken as I’ve weeded, mulched, planted, and enjoyed the beauty of our new home.

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Buddha’s Pond
Flowers
Krammes Mountain Beauty
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My Herb Garden, Ready to Plant!

 

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The Vegetable Garden

 

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Fields of Clover for the Bees

 

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Krammes Mountain

So, there it is, life happening right before your eyes! Can’t wait to see you on Krammes Mountain!!

Oops! Almost forgot…and then there was Greg’s new hat, LMAO, he’s killing me up here!

Sombrero

Love and Light!

Shannon

 

 

 

Life is the Journey, Death the Destination

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Throughout the journey there are many paths, many doors through which we pass; Sometimes the path is dark, the door is shut, and the thought of what lies beyond is both exhilarating and potentially perilous.

I have come to such a door, I have sat in contemplation of my life;
I have weighed my past experiences against what I’ve come to believe are the true treasures of life and I have found the way forward on my current path to be hollow.

When I look back I see so much beauty and joy, I see the love of my life and my beautiful children growing in my heart and spending endless hours together;
But when I look forward, it is void of these experiences; the current path does not allow for them.

So, it is time, perils be damned, to open that door and create a new future;
a future of endless time spent in self-exploration, relationship, and love; a future without the potential material wealth of the current path, but a future with so much more possibility; so much more time devoted to life’s treasures…self-exploration, relationship and love.

I didn’t wake up foolishly one day and just jump; I planned, I coordinated, I lit fires by which to see beyond; but the time has come, it is time to let go and let the journey take me where it may.

What shall I find? What shall I see? What shall I feel?

There is only one way to know; stop holding my breath, open the door, step onto the path and open my heart to all the possibilities beyond.

Wish me luck as I reach for that door…..

Work While They Sleep
Learn While They Party
Save While They Spend
Then Live Like They Dream

— Author Unknown

Seasons of Our Lives

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I am at the same time lost and found. It is the oddest feeling. It’s like I’m wandering through a deep forest, feeling lost and unsure of the many paths that lie ahead. At the exact same moment I am mesmerized by the beauty of it all. I came across these trees while I was hiking yesterday, they called to me.

I am currently 3000 miles away from home having just brought my father home from ICU and wondering how long he will be with me [while begging the Universe to grant him many more healthy years]. In my own life I am preparing for a huge shift. The trees captured my emotions, the one tree entering the Winter of its [his] life and the other just entering the Fall [of hers].

I have found so much beauty listening to my soul in these moments and truly feeling into every emotion…the fear, the pain, the anxiety, and the love and serenity. This new strength is a super power gained on my current path and something that has brought a new fear with it, the fear of losing it [the lifelong human struggle with attachment, aparigraha].

Love and Light To All of You 🙂

This is What My Heart Feels!

The Universe is a mystery, and the very fact that it exists, and that we exist as a part of it, is the only miracle worthy of the name.

No myths need be embraced for us to commune with the profundity of this circumstance.

No personal guide need be worshiped for us to live in awe at the beauty and immensity of creation.

No ancient fictions need be rehearsed for us to realize that we do, in fact, love our neighbors and that we can only solve our global problems together.

The days of our tribalism are clearly numbered.  Whether the days of civilization itself are numbered, depends on how soon we realize this.

–Sam Harris, Waking Up

I don’t believe, in any way, that this limits an individual’s choice to worship, it only highlights that we need to wake up to the realities of the world we are creating.

When did you stop dancing?

“In many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions: ‘When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop being comforted by the sweet territory of silence?’

Where we stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experienced the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.” –Gabrielle Roth