Oh the stories I could tell…we are all born into this mysterious world not knowing from where we have come or where we will go. Born into riches, born into poverty, born into perfect bodies, born broken or torn, born into sound minds, born into confused darkness, born into love, born into chaos. None of us choose our position, none of us can take credit, or blame, for our beginnings.
From this beginning we learn to become a player in an ever changing, stochastic game of life. Those born with certain attributes (i.e. riches, perfect bodies, sound minds, loving environments, etc.) have a higher likelihood of remaining in their assigned realm of the game, it generally takes an extreme act to move one on the spectrum to the next realm, just as those born at the other end of the spectrum (i.e. poverty, broken, body, confused darkness, chaos, etc.) generally remain in their realm with low likelihood of moving on the spectrum.
As the game is played many players move up and down the spectrum in small increments while a few make extreme leaps across the spectrum. What are the catalysts that increase our rate of change and how much can we claim is our own creation? Wealth/economic condition? Health/physical and mental? Environment/familial and geographical?
I know I am just another game piece on the board but I often get caught up in believing I am in control of the game. This delusion also, intentionally or not, leads me to believe that those around me are also in control of their position in the game.
We are often told or led to believe that we are in control and as a result we feel pride and/or shame at our circumstances. We also judge others based on their circumstances. And, although I so want to believe that we have some agency in this game, in my heart and mind I know that randomness has more agency than we. Most of us are aware that we could lose everything with one fatal or near-fatal accident or one major crisis, however we often ignore that reality in order to go on living in this game.
So, we continue to play the game, we continue to play at control, and we continue to move on the spectrum as the game throws the dice and our resilience is tested. A single throw of the dice can change your economic position, your health situation, your familial or geographic location. And then we all sit back and watch as the pieces move or fall and most of us sit back and judge as if we are controlling the game.
What do we really control? To some degree, with a sound mind, we may control our responses to these changes, but I am hard pressed to imagine that we truly control much more.
And so…we must be kind, we must be generous, and we must let go of believing that we are the architects and directors of the game, or that others are the architects and directors of theirs.
What does this mean for you or me? Only we can answer this for ourselves or maybe even that is left up to the game…
Ramblings from a broken body who has just experienced an undesired shift on the spectrum. My heart aches for those of you who have been born into an unfair game or have experienced an extreme shift that has moved your place on the spectrum to one that you no longer recognize or desire.
Love and Light,